First Mate Fezzik
by MiaMeadows
Summary: Finally back on board the Revenge and Inigo is fading fast, Fezzik is at a constant vigil by his side. Buttercup and Westley don't know how to help. And then some cute adventures with my favourite giant and Spaniard.
1. Piracy

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Princess Bride or Fezzik or Inigo.**

The four companions rode away into the mist without a backwards glance. They reached the harbour well before morning and, even though Inigo looked very pale and Westley was having a tough time gripping the reins, they managed to jump aboard the pirate ship Revenge without too much trouble. They weighed anchor and set sail for the open sea before Humperdinck had even dared to rise from his chair, even though he had been untied for several hours and his servants had tried to tempt him away with snacks.

"Well, that was a piece of cake," Westley said, taking the wedding ring off Buttercup's delicate finger and throwing it into the pile of loot in his cabin.

Buttercup smiled and embraced him, but Inigo suddenly fainted into Fezzik's huge arms. It was only then that Fezzik saw the huge gaping hole in the Spaniard's stomach and almost fainted himself, if you can imagine such a thing. He carried Inigo below deck like he was nothing but a sleepy kitten.

"I need hot water and bandages," he said, with a crinkle of worry etching into his forehead.

Westley ordered his men to tend to the Giant's every whim but, after seeing the wound, he didn't allow himself to trust a hope. Buttercup paced back and forth for days outside the sick chamber, worried beyond belief. Westley chewed all his nails off and busied himself with ordering the crew about and sorting and re-sorting his gold. But Fezzik stayed right by his side every minute, he never dared leave for fear that Inigo would wake to find nothing but an empty stool beside him. Fezzik dressed and tended his wounds, fed him, washed him and even sang him a sweet, sad little song about rhymes without words. On the fifth day at sea, when Inigo lay in a cold sweat, when Westley had yelled at everyone on board at least tiwice, when Buttercup had sobbed into a pile of potato peels, Fezzik took his friend's hand and spoke so very softly into his hair.

"Inigo," he said, "this is Fezzik, your Fezzik, please, please wake up now, you've slept long enough, and there's a beautiful day outside waiting for you."

Inigo stirred, he opened his eyes, he blinked, and then he breathed out a single word.

"True."

Fezzik was a very sentimental man and tears had never been beneath him. Well right then, in that little room below the deck of the Revenge, he wept. He wept huge tears onto Inigo's arm.

Inigo patted the giant's head with a tender hand.

"Don't cry Fezzik, I'm alright see, I'm fine now." He tried to sit up to prove his point but it was a little unsuccessful and he slumped onto one arm.

Fezzik sniffed, blew his nose into a handkerchief the size of the ship's sails and stood up.

"I'll, I'll tell the others that you are alright," he said.

"Hey Fezzik," Inigo said as his friend opened the door, "thank you, for taking care of me, again."

Fezzik smiled a huge beautiful smile. Then he ran outside.

"Lady! Man in black!" he yelled.

Westley panicked, he was sure Inigo was dead; he was so sure, and he knew that he couldn't handle seeing Fezzik's face if that were so. Buttercup picked the potato skins from her hair and she tore through the ship, expecting to find a lifeless Spaniard and an inconsolable giant.

But she found no such thing, instead she ran straight into Fezzik's arms.

"He's awake!" he said, "He's awake!"

Westley rounded the corner and he was sure Inigo was dead and there was Buttercup comforting poor Fezzik.

"Westley!" she said, turning to face the dread pirate Roberts, "he's awake!"

"He's awake!" Fezzik said again, bundling Westley into his arms as well.

"Yes, yes I'm awake!" came a voice from within, "now come and see me! I'm the one who got stabbed remember!"

They ran into the room and found Inigo's very alive and very awake face smiling at them.

"So what's been happening?" he said.

"We've just been waiting for you to wake up so we can pull into Florin and take on a new crew. Then you can take over as captain and I can retire," said Westley.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" said the Spaniard, regaining his strength by the second.

They made birth in Florin the next day and took on a whole new crew. Westley became the first mate and with him, Buttercup and Fezzik calling Inigo Roberts the new crew were instantly convinced, and terrified, of the expert swordsman.

That night Westley and Buttercup sat together at the Helm under the stars and the sails.

"This the first real time we've had together since the Fire Swamp," Buttercup said, leaning her head against his chest and linking her fingers with his.

"You're right," he said, playing with her hair, "and now that we are I can finally ask you what I've been waiting to ask for five years."

Buttercup stood up and faced him. Westley got down on one knee and took a shiny ring from his pocket. It was far prettier than Humperdinck's.

"Buttercup, will you marry me?" he said, full of confidence.

"As you wish."

Then there was a lot of kissing.

The next day Inigo stood on deck and pronounced Westley and Buttercup man and wife in front of the whole crew. He then surrendered his cabin to them for the remainder of the voyage. After a blissful few days they docked in a new and wonderful land called Poplin full of pear trees, alpaca farms and hat shops. It was there that Buttercup and Westley disembarked with a chest full of dreams and gold in search of a little castle to call their own.

As they sailed away, and Fezzik waved his handkerchief at the newlyweds, Inigo announced that Fezzik the giant was to be his new first mate. Fezzik was a little bit excited.

And off they went in search of brand new adventures. Little did they know that the greatest adventure of all was right there on the ship all along.


	2. Mutiny

Days passed and Inigo was finding the job of being the Dread Pirate Roberts harder and harder all the time. It would have been worse if it wasn't for Fezzik.

You see, here's how it would happen: One of the ship's crew would spy a boat off in the distance then a cry would go out among the men that they had found their next victim. Inigo would then take the spyglass and peer through it at the ship floating blissfully unaware on the horizon. _Now_ _there is a boat full of men_, he would think, _and a lot of those men probably have children_, _do I want to be responsible for a lifetime of suffering for those children? Like the lifetime of suffering I had after my father's death? No, I don't think I do._ So he would make an excuse, any excuse, "the wind is with them, they will outrun us", "they have more cannons than us, they will overpower us" or, "I know that ship, it belongs to my Uncle".

After a few months the crew were beginning to think that the Dread Pirate Roberts was not all he that was cracked up to be, in fact, he was starting to look a lot like a fraud. If it wasn't for the giant they might have thought about a mutiny sooner.

Inigo and Fezzik sat together one night in the Captain's cabin by the light of a few candles.

"Fezzik, I don't think I am cut out for this pirate business," said Inigo, unstoppering a bottle of rum. The only good thing about being a pirate was all the rum.

"What do you mean, you are a great captain, we haven't sunk once," said Fezzik, patting him gently on the shoulder in a reassuring way.

"Yes, but, I am the Dread Pirate Roberts now and that means I'm supposed to leave no survivors, to take any ship that comes in my path, and so far I haven't killed one man, not one single man."

"But Inigo, I do not think it is right to kill innocent people, maybe you are a better Pirate than you think."

"But the men are getting impatient, not only have we not killed anyone but we haven't got any gold and the cook tells me that we are running low on grits and corn."

"I don't like grits and corn anyway."

"Me neither," said Ingo and he smiled, a good smile, something Fezzik hadn't seen him do in a long time.

Fezzik stood up and hit his head on the ceiling.

"I also don't like these rooms," he said, stooping so that he could fit, "I haven't been able to stand up straight for days."

"You don't have to stay you know Fezzik, you can leave if you like."

Fezzik's eyes would have filled with tears were he not a pirate now and forbidden from such a display of weakness.

"You don't want me as your first mate anymore?"

"No no, of course I do, but I just thought, maybe you aren't having the best time, that's all."

"Inigo, what if you get sick again? Who will look after you?"

Inigo smiled again, but this time it was a sad little smile, "you will."

"Until we get to… Brazil."

Inigo laughed a little and Fezzik left in high spirits, glad that he could be of help. Inigo looked to his rum bottle.

The next morning Inigo had made a decision. Unfortunately it didn't matter because the crew had tied up Fezzik in his sleep with the thickest rope they could find (I think it may have come from the anchor) and were waiting for Inigo with their swords drawn when he emerged from his cabin.

It was also unfortunate that the only weapon in his hand was the empty rum bottle which was hardly a substitute for his father's beautiful sword. Though, to be fair, he disarmed a couple of men with it before they took it off him, tied him up and sat him back-to-back with his first mate.

Then they got out the plank.

"I'm sorry Fezzik, this is all my fault," Inigo said, hanging his head in shame and letting his hair fall in front of his dismal face.

"I really wish I had some… salt," said Fezzik, trying once again to make the captain smile.

"I wish we never took on this damn job," Inigo said, with a bit of a sniff.

"For my corn on the cob."

"Fezzik this is serious, they're probably going to make us walk the plank."

"Plank, plank, better than a trip to the bank!"

"Fezzik!"

"I'm sorry Inigo, I was just trying to cheer you up."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"So what's the plan?"

"I have no head for strategy, we need Westley, we need the man in black."

Westley, for the record, was at that moment being told by his wife that they were going to have a baby. He would not be coming to anyone's rescue.

"Can you not think of something?"

"Do you, by any chance, know where my sword is?"

"It's in my belt."

"What?"

"I sharpened it for you yesterday remember, I was going to give it back to you this morning but, well, I haven't really had a chance what with the mutiny and all."

"Can you reach it at all?"

"Maybe," he said and started to squirm, had he squirmed earlier he probably would have avoided a lot of the morning's problems.

No one has yet succeeded in tying up Fezzik the giant.

"Here you go," he said, handing the sword to Inigo after cutting his bonds.

"Fezzik," said Inigo, "I love you."

And with that they launched an all-out attack on the crew who were swiftly overwhelmed.

Once they were all safely locked in the brig Inigo and Fezzik dropped the ship off in Guilder and started their long walk to Poplin where a quaint little farmhouse awaited them.

Their greatest adventure had not been left behind on that ship, oh no, it had followed along beside them, holding onto their hands.


	3. Clarity

Fezzik and Inigo walked together as those for whom the world still holds its breath. A slight whisper of air separated their hands.

"Fezzik," said Inigo, "I think we should be finding someplace to spend the night."

"Right."

"You truly have a gift for the rhyme," said Inigo.

"That was an easy one."

A silence followed that would have made a tree weep.

"I suppose we could sleep under the stars for the night is warm," said Inigo.

"There won't be a storm!"

Inigo smiled and Fezzik smiled. It was a beautiful moment.

They walked on a little ways before stopping under an elegant, Evergreen Tree and sitting side by side beneath its leaves.

The stars began to open their weary eyes, blinking at the moon in annoyance. Just five more minutes?

"Inigo?" said Fezzik.

He made a strange noise in response; it was a half-snore-half-grunt. There was a very strong chance that he had fallen asleep.

"I love you too," said Fezzik.

In the morning Inigo awoke to find his head resting on a pillow of rose petals and duckling feathers. Though, when he finally opened his eyes, he realised that the pillow was really just Fezzik. He lay oh so still in the quiet of that early morning and listened to the hushed song of the giant's breathing. He wondered then, of all times, what they were possibly going to do for money when they finally reached those little pear trees.

Fezzik stirred and Inigo decided to pretend that he was still asleep. Why did he do it? Who really knows? But he felt that morning a great hand move the hair from in front of his face and he wondered to himself. _Is this weird?_ The hand then gently lifted Inigo's head and placed it sweetly on the ground. And he thought to himself. _This is a lot less comfortable. _

So he made a great scene of waking up, yawning, rubbing his eyes the whole bit, only to find that Fezzik had disappeared. He was not there and he was not over there either.

Inigo was worried. And that is adorable in itself.

"Fezzik? Where have you gone to?" he called into the space around him. The empty space where Fezzik had once stood. But he will fill it again, dear reader, do not despair.

For Fezzik had gone to fetch breakfast. Fresh eggs and tomatoes and a frying pan and thick toast with lots of butter. Oh yes, he would return laden with the spoils of a king and lay them at Inigo's feet and O! Would not Inigo be surprised and overjoyed when he did see the breakfast that Fezzik had brought him? Why, Fezzik could barely contain his excitement at anticipating the happy look on Inigo's face. He almost dropped the eggs a couple of times and he did drop the frying pan, right on his foot too.

But eventually he reached the tree and there was Inigo and Fezzik was putting down the food ready to cook and Inigo was turning around and what was this?

Why, reader, I do believe there were tears in his eyes. Oh Inigo! He was worried sick. Why anything could have happened. Yes, yes, he is a giant but still, those pirates might come looking for them you know.

And then something happened that was wonderful and magical and really quite sweet.

Inigo threw his arms as far around the giant as he could and hugged him.

It is a very underappreciated sign of affection, the hug. It has the power to bear so much girth. This hug beared with it a lot of girth.

"I didn't know where you had gone Fezzik," said Inigo.

"I am ok Inigo, and look," he said, using a spare hand to find the tomatoes in his pocket, "I brought breakfast."

Inigo felt rather foolish after his emotional outburst and practiced a few turns with his sword while Fezzik made the eggs sizzle.

Of course the breakfast was delicious and the incident with the hug was not mentioned throughout. But there were several things weighing on Inigo's mind that he was having trouble fathoming.

Then, with a smile shared between their faces the two companions set off again for Poplin.

"Inigo, I have been thinking about what we should do now that we are not pirates anymore."

"What's that?"

"Well, I think that you should teach people how to fight with a sword like you do."

"That is an idea, but what about you?"

"Well, I, no, I guess I…"

"Tell me."

"I thought maybe, I could be, well, a poet."

Inigo stopped, he let go of Fezzik's hand (oh, hadn't you noticed that they were holding hands? I don't think they realised either) and then he grinned. As big a grin as ever there was.

"Fezzik that is the most beautiful idea I have ever heard."

"You think, maybe, that I could be good enough?"

"Never have I met anyone with such a skill for rhyme as you!"

"I guess our fighting days are through?"

They started walking again and they filled the silence with contentment and dreams. Then they saw the quaint little cottage where Buttercup lay on the couch demanding cranberries and gram crackers. But next door, not two hundred metres away, was another cottage. A far cuter cottage, with vines growing along a trellis and a wee little chimney. This little house spoke to them that day. It spoke of lonely walls and empty fireplaces, of no rugs to keep it warm and dust on the windows so thick that it could not see the daylight.

"I think that is our house Inigo," said Fezzik, listening to the lament of a house without a swallow to nest in its eaves.

"Our house?" he asked, frowning, "as in, to live in together?"

"Of course," said Fezzik, "somebody has to take care of you."

"But who will take care of you?"

"Why, you will of course."

"I see, so we'll be living together in a cute little cottage and we'll be taking care of each other and…"

"Inigo…"

And then, as easily as holding hands, they looked at each other for a moment and kissed. And, though you may not wish to hear about kissing, I will tell you this: that kiss put Buttercup and Westley's to shame.


End file.
